Just write something! Gosh, it’s been SO long! So I am writing my thoughts on some stuff while looking back on 2010 and some of it’s personal highlights and how those things helped define my personal goals for 2011. I often jokingly say that I’m going to let 2011 decide, but that’s not true. I’m a builder and one can’t build without a proper blue-print.
I had planned to go back to school, originally for a bachelors, then I decided on a masters. After that, I thought, what the heck, why not a doctorate? I was all ready to go when it occurred to me how much personal freedom I would lose over the next six long and potentially BORING years. Psychology fascinates me. Anyone close to me can well confirm this, but to be quite honest, I find myself without the ability to acclimate myself in this particular field, even though the idea is really good in theory and I’m sure I would enjoy it. Perhaps it is that I have commitment issues or maybe now is just not the time. Honestly, I’ve found far more personal inspiration and fulfillment through my astrological studies. Most of my “free” time goes to personal readings for friends and the study of worldly and regional mundane events. It’s exciting work. I find it to be time well spent and more emotionally stimulating than any other way that I could find to spend my “quiet time”. So, at this point, after giving it thought for about 6 months, I’ve decided to go to a specialized school for archetypal astrology/psychological astrology. Funds are the difficult part. . .The education will cost me about 6 grand out of my own pocket so who knows when I’ll get to start. But fantasizing about it, is most certainly rewarding even though it gives me a goal that may be viewed by others as being unorthodox and strange. This field of study is actually what I’ve wanted to do from the get-go but what kept me from taking the idea seriously is the thought that others may not take me seriously, and that in the end, I would be viewed by everyone I knew as yet another eccentric weirdo whose unattached to reality. (I don’t think of astrologers this way, I just know people who do.) My mind is made up at this point. 2010 has taught me that carrying fears based on what others may think of me is hardly conducive to my personal success. I have a strong connection with my own soul and I need no one to validate my goals other than myself. SO LOOK HERE, 2011!. . .I’m jumping on your back and I have every intention of breaking you down and OWNING YOU! Although I may do it quietly, as I have a fear of public microscopes. 😉
For the first time in my years as a career bead maker, I’m going to be teaching group classes. In the past, the idea of teaching has filled me with uncontrollable anxiety. Again, it’s fear. Such an ugly word it is, but we ALL fear things. Every single one of us. Even the crazy daredevils we see on TV, and the crazy people that walk into our lives who wish to show us that not only are they totally unhinged but that they HAVE NO FEAR. Well, friends, they are the ones who carry the DEEPEST wells of fear induced anxiety, hence their projected unconventional and often times irrational, way of projecting themselves. Their need to prove how crazy they are stems from fear. So, my thought is this. . .If people can publically make spectacles of themselves by doing really stupid and dangerous things all while screaming about how they HAVE NO FEAR, then why can’t I buck it up and teach a few lampwork classes? So I am going to do just that, but not outside of the US or any place that I can’t drive to because as worldly traveled as I’d like to be, I have a strong FEAR of flying. Hopefully one day I can overcome it. . . I’m looking into psychological therapy. Lol
If anyone reading this is interested in classes, please visit this link for further info.
2010 was not a pleasant year for me and the consensus seems to be that it wasn’t for a lot of people. I’ve decided to have faith in 2011, so if you’re in my camp of “2010 TOTALLY BLEW!”, I hope you can find some faith in 2011, as well. If not, then just try the mindset on anyway, then spin around in a circle in front of your mirror. It’s one size fits all! I’m sure it’ll look great on you!